Friday, September 15, 2006

All Hail Eris!

BBC NEWS Science/Nature Astronomers name 'world of chaos'

Personally the Dragon is gleeful that Pluto has been knocked down a peg and Eris dances (as she always has) with the stars.

The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when confronting theignorant. The "socratic approach" is what you call starting an argument byasking questions. You approach the innocent and simply ask "Did you know that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?" If he should answer "Yes." then he probably is a fellow Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says "No." then quickly proceed to:
THE BLIND ASSERTION and say "Well, He Is a girl, and His name is ERIS!" Shrewedly observe if the subject is convinced. If he is, swear him into the Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind. If he does not appear convinced, then proceed to:
THE FAITH BIT: "But you must have Faith! All is lost without Faith! I sure feel sorry for you if you don't have Faith." And then add:
THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask "Do you know whathappens to those who deny Goddess?" If he hesitates, don't tell him that hewill surely be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distributed to thepoor in the Region of Thud (which would be a mean thing to say), just shakeyour head sadly and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to:
THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all of the discord andconfusion in the world and exclaim "Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise guy?" If he says, "Nobody, just impersonal forces." then quickly respond with:
THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say that he is absolutelyright, and that those impersonal forces are female and that Her name is ERIS. If he, wonder of wonders, still remains obstinate, then finally resort to:
THE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide that sophisticated peoplelike himself recognize that Eris is a Figurative Symbol for an IneffableMetaphysical Reality and that The Erisian Movement is really more like a poem than like a science and that he is liable to be turned into a Precious Mao Button and Distributed to The Poor in The Region of Thud if he does not get hip. Then put him on your mailing list.

Eris' discoverer, Michael Brown of the California Institute of Technology, told the Associated Press that the name was an obvious choice, calling it "too perfect to resist".
In mythology, Eris caused a quarrel among goddesses that sparked the Trojan War. In real life, Eris also caused strife, forcing scientists to produce a strict definition of the term planet - and that eventually led to Pluto losing the status it had held since its discovery in 1930.
-- from the BBC article

This post has been brought to you by the Leonard Walden Memorial Cabal, Cascadia Bio-Region, Spiraling madly through space somewhere in the unfashionable arm of the Milky Way (or was it Snickers?) Galaxy.

Please do not use this document as toilet paper.

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