Retro-Futurist Bikes

For your Gernsbackian delight, Well Medicated blog has a post up with 45 covers of classic pulp science magazines. Check out the title link for all kinds of groovy domed houses, jet-packs, and flying cars. I have of course selected all the cycle related covers, for your immediate edification.



via bOINGbOING

Bruce Sterling looks at the Steampunk Sub-Culture

Just stumbled across this great essay by Bruce Sterling, who some would credit with birthing Steampunk, (though he is humble enough to credit earlier influences), on where Steampunk came from, and where it just might be going.

Ruskin wrote an extremely influential and important essay which changed the world. Everything Ruskin says in that essay is wrong. The ideas in there don't work, have never worked and are never going to work. If you try to do the things Ruskin described in the spirit that Ruskin suggested, you are doomed.

However. If you try to do those things in a steampunk spirit, you might get somewhere useful. Steampunks are equipped with a number of creative tools and approaches that John Ruskin never imagined, such as design software, fabricators, Instructables videos, websites, wikis, cellphones, search engines and etsy.com. Successful steampunks are not anti-industrial as Ruskin was. They are digital natives and therefore post-industrial. This means that they can make their own, brand-new, fresh mistakes -- if they understand the old mistakes well enough not to repeat them.

Steampunk's key lessons are not about the past. They are about the instability and obsolescence of our own times. A host of objects and services that we see each day all around us are not sustainable. They will surely vanish, just as "Gone With the Wind" like Scarlett O'Hara's evil slave-based economy. Once they're gone, they'll seem every bit as weird and archaic as top hats, crinolines, magic lanterns, clockwork automatons, absinthe, walking-sticks and paper-scrolled player pianos. ...

The past is a kind of future that has already happened.

Day Late and a Dollar Short Movie Review: The American Astronaut

Just got this disc in the post from the Dragon's Arkansawyer correspondent, Iain de Sane, and I gotta say it is a Drive-in Classic!

Now Iain has been raving about this film to me for some time, and quite honestly, I thought his hedonistic lifestyle had finally caught up with him, and he was just getting the name of that Astronaut Farmer flick wrong... How wrong I was...

The American Astronaut defies easy classification. Some reviews call it a Science Fiction / Western / Musical / Comedy, but that really doesn't give you much concept of what this film really is, and actually does it a disservice. The American Astronaut is what would happen if a rock band attempted to make a independent science fiction art-house movie which broke all of Joe Bob Briggs' Drive-in traditions, but would still be something that Joe Bob would say, "check it out."

If you have no idea what I am talking about, yet take this as a sign that this film is not for everyone, then you are correct! Indeed, Jes couldn't make it all the way through. I, on the other hand watched the film, then watched the director's commentary (given live, with Q&A from an audience in a Brooklyn bar), then watched the movie again!

Now, I'm not big on musicals. Though I'm an obvious fan absurdism, the average musical in absurd in a way that bugs me. I suppose the absurdity is generally not taken to the aesthetic and humorous extremes I'd like. A short list of musicals I like will make this obvious, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, The Ruling Class, and Improv Everywhere's guerilla performance art piece Food Court Musical, all illustrate a peculiar and original interpretation of the genre.

The American Astronaut definitely qualifies as peculiar and original. Set in a Sci-Fi universe which seems one part William S. Burroughs and one part Philip K. Dick, it's musical numbers either fit seamlessly with the plot, as performances which are taking place in bars or mass assemblies, or they are completely absurdist, beyond that absurdity of characters just bursting into song which one might expect of Broadway. No, these explosions of song, verse and choreography are delivered with a Discordian wink, a nudge, and even a "say-no-more." The number linked above "Hey, Boy" is just one example.

So, I don't know if Joe Bob would have reviewed The American Astronaut, as it is a strange mix of B-Science Fiction, and Art film (or more likely, art-school drop-out turned rock-musician), but I'd like to think it woulda gone a little like this:

No dead bodies, but countless piles-of-ashy-remains-of-disintegrated -bodies. No breasts, but one "Boy who actually saw a woman's breast." Disintegration pistol fu. Public restroom Polaroid. Two giant fish bowl space helmets. Two F-bombs. Space-gimp in a rubber suit who smells like poo. Description of homo-erotic acts by 19th century Nevada silver-miners. Gratuitous Flash Gordon-esque painted space scenes. Spaceship hidden in floating space barn.

Also check out this review from Boulder, CO, where for sometime the film has shown with Rocky-Horror-like frequency:

The whole movie, including the music, is infused with an odd mix of working-class sensibilities and intellectual irony. The roughnecks at the bar wear leather, don’t shave, drink rotgut, and dance as though their masculinity depended on it. At the same time, the longest mis-told joke on film can only really be appreciated in a post-modern, ironic frame of mind. And our hero is subjected to the humiliation of having a Polaroid taken of him on the toilet, something you will see in no blue-collar commercial for Chevy Trucks.

In music, if you mix the aggression of hard rock with ironic lyrics, you get something like punk. Add a little country, and you have the music from The American Astronaut. Maybe the fact that it’s all so incongruous and puzzling (and still funny) is what makes the movie watchable over repeated viewings.

Four stars. The Dragon says, Check it out!

Buy The American Astronaut at Amazon

Scooter Gear: Part 1, Leather Jackets

I've been promising you for awhile, and myself for even longer, that I would post something in depth about riding gear for scooter riders.
Well, I just stumbled upon this recent article in the New York Times about leather jackets, and thought it was a good place to start. It's a strange article, with an accompanying set of photos of male models posing on Vespas. One of the photos even features a chopped Lambretta, though most of the scoots are modern Vespas. The thing that gets me though is all the jackets are fashion leather jackets, ranging in price from over $600 to over $5k! I know the dollar is weak, but good lawd!
Now, I'm sure the piece was intended as a fashion article, and I'm sure someone in the creative department had the brainstorm that Vespas are way more hip than motorcycles, thus the photo shoot. But I have some problems with this.
First of all, some of these skins may be styled after classic riding jackets, but none of them actually strike me as being riding jackets. The leather looks thin, design features intended to let in and keep out air are totally forgotten, and I'm sure there is no armor to be found. Sure, any leather jacket is going to be better protection than a nylon wind breaker, but these things just scream poseur to me. Plus, I'd imagine one good slide would totally destroy them... and then there is $2k down the drain. Whereas a good $300 to $500 motorcycling jacket would probably just need a little mink oil, and would good as new.
The article does touch on the mystique of the leather jacket:

Since the early 1980s, when American men first truly embraced the leather jacket as the antihero’s anti-sport coat, a new one has risen from the tomb of rebels past every six or seven years. In the 1980s, there was the ’40s-style WWII bomber (very Indiana Jones), then, in the late 1980s, the ’50s-style motorcycle jacket (very Mad Max). In the 1990s, the ’70s hip-length jacket (very John Shaft) had a moment, followed by the 1960s-style streamlined “cafe racer” that would shout Steve McQueen if McQueen ever shouted.

But I think if you are really trying to emulate rebel machismo emphasizing form over function, isn't the way to do it.

My other problem with this article, is that leather isn't that popular with scooter riders. I suppose there are a multitude of reasons for this, from the classic Mod vs. Rocker feuds, to the fact that a lot of scooterists view their scoots as day-to-day transportation, and don't want to tailor their whole wardrobe around their ride. Plus, though I have no stastics to back this up, I think you will find significantly more vegans and vegetarians on scooters than on motorcycles. Plus, if a scooterist did decide to go with leather for their riding gear, I think this article does them a disservice. There are now plenty of stylish leather jackets, which are made for riding and its dangers, which don't make you look like a Hell's Angel or like you are ready for Le Mans.
And while a lot of folks might think that any leather and the hardened outcast image it brings with it would be incongruous, I don't necessarily agree. In my mind a scooter is way more punk-rock than a motorcycle, especially when you get into the DIY subculture of 2-strokes. And unless you are a vegan straight-edger, a leather jacket is still pretty iconic punk-rock. I also think the right leather jacket can be pretty steampunk, giving off a vibe of the classically civilized adventurer in a way that is very difficult for ballistic nylon.

So without further ado, I bring you the Dragon's guide to leather riding jackets that are both fashionable AND functional.

The jacket pictured above is the Triumph Rivton. This is currently my favorite leather riding jacket. It's hard to tell in this picture, but the elbows feature quilted patches like the shoulders, and the leather has a supple, aged and broken quality. We've got these at the shop, and the one in my size fits me perfectly. I really like the retro-styling of this jacket, which though it is supposed to recall the cafe-racer jackets of late 60s British rockers, to me it has a steampunk or dieselpunk vibe. Though it is obviously a riding jacket, guys I've talked to who own this jacket tell me they get complimented on it all the time by non-motorcyclists. I don't know when I'll be able to afford one (list price is $409), but I've already got the patches picked out to cover up the Triumph logo.

The Triumph Portland jacket is very similar to the Rivton, only monochrome. Well there are a few other styling differences, but it still has those assume quilted leather panels on the elbows and shoulders. Of course both jackets feature CE armor on the elbows and shoulders as well, and I know the Rivton has a pocket for inserting a back protector, I believe the Portland does too. The Portland is a little subtler I guess, but still stands out in a crowd of wannabes in cookie cutter 50s styled leather jackets. Again, very retro-futurist. $419 MSRP

OK, one last Triumph jacket, this time the Madison. Not quite as steampunk as the other two, just a good basic leather. Very classic, it definitely brings to mind 60s and 70s cafe racers, but in a very no-nonsense way. I dig the aged leather. The Madison doesn't come with armor, though it does have pockets for it, and is thus a little cheaper at $319. I really like a lot of Triumph's gear. It's well designed, well made, in touch with it's roots, and looks badass in a subdued manner. If you have a problem with the Triumph logos, just cover them with rally patches, or pick up something at Angry, Young and Poor. If you are really worried about maintaining your skooter-boy cred, I'd recommend a Specials patch.

The least expensive jacket on this list is River Road's Hoodlum. No armor, very little frills, costs $200, which is about the least you should expect to spend on a quality leather jacket. This one looks sweet, and I imagine will protect you much better than any of those boutique jackets featured in the NYT article.

From the least expensive jacket we move to the most expensive. The Dainese Montone sheepskin jacket lists at $1299. But for that price you are getting a quality jacket from one of the most respected manufacturers of motorcycling gear in the world. To me this retro-futuristic garment brings to mind the long-standing connection between two-wheeled travel and aviation. For the steampunk scootering enthusiast this is the top, the most flash, the shiniest. Of course it has removable composite protectors at the elbows and shoulders. Now, you'll have to excuse me for a moment, as I believe I just drooled on my keyboard.

Really, if you wanna be protected AND fashionable on your stylish Italian scoot, Dainese is a great way to go. They are an Italian company, with that implies fashion wise, and they make some of the best gear in the world. Plus in Italy, two-wheeled transportation isn't just a weekend hobby for testosterone poisoned kids and guys with mid-life crises, it's a fact of everyday life, just like a passion for fashion.
This baby features elbow and shoulder armor, has a space for a back protector, and comes with a removable thermal liner. Just a gorgeous, and pragmatic coat, with styling that should please any steamy velocipede pilot. Not cheap at about $700, but then again, nothing about this jacket is cheap, and it makes those fashion leathers in the NYT article just seem silly.


The last leather I'm featuring today really makes me wonder about that NYT article. The Dainese Superdune is currently available at Bloomingdales in NYC. I guess I don't know enough about NYC fashion, 'cause I thought that was kinda hoity-toity. Anyway, the Superdune is inspired by jackets worn by riders in the classic Paris/Dakar race. The leather on this piece is gorgeous, strong and tough, while also being light and supple. It includes elbow and shoulder armor, and also has a pocket for inserting a spine protector. Yet again, great classic styling that should make any Steam- Jazz- or Diesel Punk quiver.

So if you are inclined toward leather as a protective garment for your two-wheeled adventures, there are definitely some options out there for you. The links for these jackets go to the ecommerce page for Vespa Ridgefield / Branchville Motors, so if you feel like ordering one of these, I'd be processing that. The Dianese stuff, we handle as well, drop me an email if you are interested. Of course if you are in or near Fairfield County, CT you should ride in and check us out. If you are farther away, I encourage you to check out your local gear dealers, dig a little deeper in the racks, and ask the employees for help. There are many options out there for quality riding gear which won't make you look like you should be in a Motorcycle gang, or on a racetrack. If you don't have a nearby dealer, well, again, I'd be happy to assist you online.

Coming soon, I'll take a look at textile jackets, helmets, gloves, boots, ladies gear and more.

A Hummer I'd actually consider...

A 400cc Hummer scooter?!?
What?! What!?

OK, so it's just a Design exercise, but it has some interesting features, and I know I'm not the only freak out there dreaming of a dual-purpose scooter. I also like the fixed front fender, which looks like it could be made to sport quite a front rack. But come on folks, a scooter is supposed to be step-through! Step-Through! Not just some lame indentation in the middle like some sway-backed nag.

This blog, Scooter Design is going to be one of my new favorites. It's in Italian, but who cares, when the pictures are so pretty! Like this gorgeous concept for an electric update to the classic Moto Guzzi Galleto. It's electric and it looks very DieselPunk!



via Sethwas and Badpenguin on Modern Vespa

Asterix-Punk Computing

Retro-Futurists take note:
Neatorama has a great post up on the history of computing. Examples go from flint-napping-punk, stone age calculating devices inscribed on baboon fibula, to transistor-punk, Eniac, the first room-filling digital computer.
Of course my favorites are somewhere in between technologically, if not chronologically.
Witness the beauty that is Blaise Pascal's Pascaline:


The second mechanical calculator, called the Pascaline or the Arithmetique, was invented in 1645 by Blaise Pascal. Pascal started working on his calculator when he was just 19 years old, out of boredom. He created a device to help his father, a tax collector, to crunch numbers... The basic mechanism of the Pascaline is a series of gears - when the first gear with ten teeth made one rotation (one to ten), it shifts a second gear until it rotated ten times (one hundred). The second gear shifted a third one (thousands) and so on. This mechanism is still in use today in car odometers, electricity meters and at the gas pumps.

And supporting character from Stephenson's Baroque Trilogy, Liebniz's Stepped Reckoner:



Leibniz’s design used a special type of gear called the Stepped Drum or Leibniz wheel, a cylinder with nine bar-shaped teeth along its length. He named his machine the Staffelwalze or the Stepped Reckoner.
The machine was a marked improvement from Pascal’s design and could add, subtract, multiply, divide, and even evaluate square roots by a series of additions.


Both of these are gorgeous artifacts which give me some ideas for further embellishments upon my steampunk scooter...

Quicksilver: The Dieselpunk Honda Elite.

Nemo Gould has completed his exceedingly lovely and original Retro-Futurist Scooter, which I have previously mentioned. Even better he has posted an instructables page with step-by-step details of the project!
Wow, Nemo, that is one sexy scoot! Maybe my dreams of an Anachronistic Scooter Society (or A.S.S. for short) aren't so far fetched after all.

via bOINGbOING!

Steamy Holidays

The Make! blog has enlisted Steampunk maker extraordinaire Jake Von Slatt to create a gift guide for that Steampunk on your list. As you might expect from a tinkerer of Herr Von Slatt's ingenuinity and refined taste, there are some real beauties on this list:


Tool box - Journeyman Tool Chest Price: $987.00 Buy: Gerstner - Link.

There is something about beautifully crafted hand tools that enhances your work. It's not just that they are of high quality, there's something about an heirloom tool that inspires you and allows you to exceed your normal skill level when you work with it.

Such tools need, nay, demand! a worthy case. Gerstner & Sons of Dayton Ohio have been making such cases since 1906. To put it simply; OMG, WANT!

Jes's folks got her a vintage example of just this type of toolchest for her birthday this year, and it is freaking amazing! Of course, hers needs some refinishing love, but that in itself is a project I'm sure she will enjoy. So if the new price gives you sticker shock, you should keep in mind that your favorite nefarious anachronistic mastermind just might enjoy restoring and customizing a slightly broken in specimen of the above, just as much as the chest itself...

But if you have the budget, here is another ready made steamy gift suggestion, I recently came across on Retrothing:

There are countless iPod docks on the market, but few are as carefully crafted as the Thodio iBox lineup from Amsterdam... Each case is handcrafted from 15 mm beech, oak, teak, zebrano or mahogany. They contain a 2 x 25 Watt solid state amplifier and a pair of Focal Polyglass 100CV1 full range speakers.

One thing that bothers me about many docking systems is that they tether you to the wall with an awkward AC adapter. Thankfully, the iBox does away with wires by incorporating a built-in rechargeable 15 hour battery pack that enables you to take the unit beyond the four walls of your home. You'll be the life of the party during power outages, too. There's even a 149 euro Bluetooth option for completely wireless operation.

Prices start at 359 euros for a painted MDF version and range up to 549 euros for a deluxe finish with 7 layers of scratch-proof gloss finish and UV protection.

And if you feel that the iBox's steamy retro yumminess is somewhat marred by sticking a very modern iPod into the docking slot, well get your favorite retrofuturist a steampunk iPod skin:

These beauties are available for all generations of iPod, and at $15 will certainly not break the bank. In fact just one of these by itself, could be the perfect steampunk stocking stuffer. The artist, Colin Thompson, also has some brassy, rusty, patina-encrusted laptop skins available for a variety of portable computing platforms:
This laptop skin is basically adhesive vinyl and might be used for customizing items other than laptops... for instance I'm thinking one of these might look good on my Steampunk Vespa's glovebox...

Now if your favorite retrofuturist is more of a NeoVictorian than an exposed gears and boilers type, you know emphasis on the STEAM instead of the PUNK, you might consider a Kowal Portable kit, which will transform their mundane laptop into something like this:
The kits run a little more than Colin Thompson designs, but are far more customizable, with the option to choose from a variety of woods and such.

Another great, inexpensive steampunk present was posted recently by Tinkergirl on Brass Goggles, a brassy, antique-looking webcam:
This unique cam might present a little more challenge to acquire, as the site it is available on seems to sell wholesale to importers. Still, they do offer pricing for sample quantities of 1 to 15 for less than $12...

Now all these commercially available products will be claimed by some to be watered-down Steampunk, a few steps away from the DIY tinkerer's ideal. If you have the ability, a handmade gift should always be appreciated, or you might try finding something with some steam potential and customizing it a bit before gifting it. Inexpensive welder's or army surplus goggles and some applied imagination could just provoke waves of delight. (Plus one simply never has enough goggles!)

Or if you can't swing that, you could take Jake Von Slatt's suggestion and search for "steampunk" on Etsy.com. All sorts of suitably steamy one-of-a-kind handmade items will instantly appear before you. Plus you will be supporting individual artists and craftspeople, rather than corporations, and that will display some steampunk savvy, indeed!

Finally, if money is no object and you are shopping for the Steampunk who has it all, there is the gift to end all gifts, a hand crafted keyboard by Datamancer:
Datamancer has produced several gorgeous variations on an original design by Jake Von Slatt. These are labor-intensive works of art by a master craftsman, and are priced accordingly ranging from $800 -$1000+. I doubt that Datamancer would be able to get you one by the 25th, as they are made to order with at least a two-month wait. Still, no steampunk worth their brass gears would be disappointed with the simple assurance that one was on the way...

More Anachcronistic Scooter Anomalies

Well real-life responsibilities and some difficulties with my flux capacitor prevented my week of exploring the obscure glories of prehistoric scootering with as much depth as I would have liked.
Still, I feel I must share a few of the more interesting examples I've found, in an attempt to put to rest the myth that Vespa invented scooters. Don't get me wrong, I love Vespas, but I cringe a little every time I read one of those news stories about how high gas prices are driving increased scooter sales, and the Vespa invented scooters after WWII is tosssed out there.
Take for instance this lovely Dieselpunky military grade Cushman. 4734 of these Auto Glide Model 53 Cushmans were sold to the US Government, and some were used by Airborne troops after D-Day. Cushmans are probably the most common of the Pre-Vespa scooters, especially in the U.S., and there is a cult following of collectors and restorers to this day.

The above two Cushmans are on display at the Motorcycle History Museum in Sturgis South Dakota. Jes and I stopped there on a lark during our recent cross-county trip, and were very impressed by the place. While we expected merely a shrine to Harleys, they had a lot of cool pieces of two-wheeler history from manufacturers all over the world.

A really scoot which was on display there was the 1922 Ner-a-car.

Now that is one sick old scoot! And as a Scot, I love that the placard brings up one of my favorite arguments for scooters. Real men ride scooters, " 'Cause ya cannae wear a kilt on a motorcycle!"
Like the great-grand-daddy of the Ruckus, it's a cool naked scoot. But of course, customization of two-wheelers didn't start with chopped Harleys...

Built on a Neracar chassis, Mr Lawson built this in 1948 using a 288cc straight 4 from Mr Haythorn. It had outriggers that dropped under gravity and locked in position. They can just be seen hiding in the rear bodywork.

Awesome!

Mr. Lawson's custom ride reminds me stylistically of one my favorite old scooters, also from the twenties, the Unibus.


I haven't been able to scare up much info on these cute little machines, which have such classic and timeless styling. While there are plenty of cool step-through bikes prior to World War II, which definitely should be classified as scooters, the Unibus gets my vote as the real precursor to Vespas as a stylish machine for personal transportation. They also show how early savy advertisement entered into scooter culture. Indeed these antique adverts are about all the info I could scare up on them.

Well, before I sign off, I want to include a couple more cool Steampunk/Dieselpunk scooters I've come across, though again I forget where I found these...

Above is a Lutz Hummel.
And this is a Monet Goyon Velauto. Check out the wicker vent in front of the engine, and the wicker seat, definitely an idea to emulate if you are considering a Steampunk customization on your scoot.

Well, hopefully I'll be able to scare up some time to post some more of these cool old scoots in the next few days.

Sample Steampunk Bike: The 1914 Aerothruster

This isn't what I planned to post next for Steampunk two-wheeler week, but it is just too cool and too weird to hold back. Plus it is too random for me to tax my brain, coming up with some contrived connection with the upcoming group.
The 1914 Aerothruster, a motor-assisted bicycle with a twist: the motor doesn't power the chain drive or wheel. Nope, that would be too obvious. The inventor in stroke of diabolical genius worthy of a comic book super-villain, decided to make the motor power a propeller that sits behind the rider!
Somehow this never took off... or should I say caught on... or well the fact that I can't come up with a ready expression for market acceptance that doesn't immediately invite death-trap puns, explains the obscurity of this contraption.
Still, if there was ever a vehicle designed to evoke quizzical looks, this is certainly it.
The title link will take you to a blog post on the bike with scans from a magazine article on the bike.
Thanks to Lady Vim on the Brass Goggles Forum

Two-Wheeled Time Machine Week

Since I started working at Vespa Ridgfield/Branchville Motors, I've realized my knowledge of the history of two-wheeled vehicles is sorely lacking. Similarly, I've been itching lately to do some artwork of Steampunky scooters and motorcycles, as I mentioned in a previous post.

The above image was lifted from a thread on Brass Goggles that discusses how Steampunk aesthetics seem to dovetail quite nicely with early and vintage two-wheeling. There have been some other threads on the quintessential Steampunk Forum on this overlap, and it's something that has been occupying my mind quite a bit recently. Retro-Futurism is a blade that cuts two ways, for it isn't simply nostalgia and kitsch, it is a kind of refractive looking forward. One looks ahead through a rearview mirror which is angled to reflect a mirror further back which looks forward.
(Are you still with me? Because I almost lost myself there...)
To continue the mirror- time/space metaphor, the refractive process of Steampunk imagining provides us a perspective in which our own position as well as the road ahead seem much smaller and distant. It allows us to view ourselves with an outsider's detachment, which is always useful. But perhaps more importantly, it grants us a vision of the larger vista in which we are placed. We are permitted to view where we are, were, and possibly will be all at once.

So, besides this strained metaphor of rear-view mirrors, what does Steampunk and Retro-Futurism have to do with cycling? Go to a motorcycle dealership, or flip through a motorcycling magazine and ask yourself that question. Break it down, "Retro" and "Futurism". I think you will find that the motorcycling world is rife with it. Currently available bikes can almost all be pigeonholed as vintage-evoking nostalgic day-dreams, and day-after-tomorrow techno-gadget wet-dreams. Many are trying to be both. This is especially true in the United States, where a motorcycle is much more of a fetish-object, than other parts of the world where they are practical daily transportation first, and their role as lifestyle accessory is secondary or tertiary, if it exists at all.

Whew... it's getting a little deep here. How about we just look at some bikes for a bit:

Above is a TRUE Steampunk two-wheeler,the Michaux-Perreaux Steam Bicycle. Built in Germany in 1868-1869, it was supposedly capable of 19mph. (You can also view a different, larger photo here.) This was actually a Velociped, as the pedals are fixed to the front wheels. That's right boys and girls, the first motorcycle was in fact, a Steampunk Moped. The Swarm-And-Destroy Moped Army kids will be serving up heaping helpings of crow-stuffed humble-pie to every Harley rider who ever ranted too long about the heritage of their hawg.

Coming in second (though some count it first) in the history of motorcycles is Stanley Roper's Steam Velocipede. Beautiful! This design is from 1869, and Roper continued tinkering with steam powered bikes right up to his death from a heart attack. And as was chronicled in this blog about a year ago, I mean RIGHT UP to his death.

Next we come to the first internal combustion engine powered two-wheeler. (Well, if you want to split hairs, I guess it did have two dinky training wheels on the sides.) Though fueled by gasoline, this four-stroke steed was steamy indeed, with its wooden frame and large brass gear. Built in 1885 by Gottlieb Daimler, the Reitwagen is considered by many to be the first "true motorcycle." Boy, one look at that seat explains why many bikers and scooterists still refer to them as saddles. Cool stuff.

All these previous bikes have the added Steampunk credentials of being experiments and prototypes, the products of mad inventors pushing the boundaries of the possible. The above design from Hildebrand & Wolfmüller in 1894, has the distinction of being the first production motorcycle available to the general public.
Oops! Did I say "motorcycle"? That definitely looks like a step-through frame to me, which would make it... that's right, a scooter.
And what a scooter it was, with a two-cylinder, four stroke, water-cooled engine that weighed in at a staggering 1488cc's! Of course it didn't have a clutch and only generated slightly more than 2 horsepower. Still it marks quite a milestone in motorcycling history, and as it remains to my knowledge, the largest displacement scooter ever, quite a forgotten milestone in the history of scooting.
Yep, that's right kiddies, not only did Harley, son of David, not invent the motorcycle, but neither did Piaggio invent the scooter with his wasp-like beauty.
Next time we'll explore the boggling plethora of scooters which existed in that misty time before Vespa "invented" the scooter.
Stay tuned.

Retro-Futurist Art Scooter

Found object sculptor Nemo Gould is creating an awesome art scooter out of an 80's Honda Elite, street lamp covers, and old metal vacuum cleaner bodies. Most folks would call it Steampunk, but it might technically be more Dieselpunk. In any case this thing is fan-freaking-tastic!
It's still a work in progress, but you can check out the first stages here.
And with a little more work on it.

Heck while you are at it, check out his portfolio, there's a bunch of cool Steam/Diesel Punk sculpture there, including lotsa squids and robots. And I mean c'mon, who doesn't like squids and robots?

Thanks to Oscillator, on Modern Vespa

Naked Three Wheeler

(High-res image here)

Modern Vespa member 501 has started a thread for collecting images of the Gilera Fuoco... er, that is to say, the Piaggio MP3 500.
If you've been reading the Dragon for a while, you know that I have been enamored of Piaggio's three wheeler from the get-go, and stark raving buggo for the Fuoco. My test ride of a 250 at AmeriVespa only cemented my obsession. For this scooterist, at least, this is the future.
So many of these pics have been featured here before.
What I consider the most interesting of the lot, though are these pics of a Fuoco, nekkid as an escape-artist toddler at bath-time.

(High-res image here)

Is it just me, or is this baby BEGGING for a Steampunk or Dieselpunk customization?
In the Dieselpunk vein, the Fuoco reminds me of an updated Hienkel, if that marque had lasted or been revived. Which makes me wonder if the Vetter full-body fairing could somehow be adapted to fit.

More AmeriVespa Wrap Up

The jaw-droppingly glorious scooter above is a 1954 Hoffman Vespa "Koenigin"or "Queen". This was a fantastic piece of scooter-history that was totally new to me. Henrik Harms won "Best Widebody Vespa" for this stunning scoot. You can find a little history about the German branch of Vespa genealogy here. With old-school widebodies, bike-style handlebars, and headlights on the fender and headset, not too mention that crazy standard chrome on the front of the cowls, this ride was really something else. Orin over at Scootin' Old Skool has a picture of this bike with the Pav trailer fully installed... (Excuse me one moment, as I clean the drool off of my keyboard.)

Here is Henrik's compadre Christian's Hoffman. Looking a little more lived-in than the gilded beauty above, it is still a wonderfully functioning piece of history. Did I say functioning? You bet your sweet saddle I did, these guys also won furthest traveled to the rally. They shipped their bikes from Europe to the East Coast (I heard Boston, and I heard NY... so I'm not sure) and rode to Seattle. What's more, they were planning to hit Canada, Mexico, and Cuba on their anachronistic wanderjahr. They have a website, America-by-Vespa, but sadly it is in Deutsch.


Here is another sweet old Wasp that was on display. Man, I dig these old fenderlights!

Great Ceasar's ghost! Is that 60 year old original paint?

And look at those lines! This baby is almost obscene!


There is beauty in pragmatic functionalism as well. This P200E caught my eye, as I strolled the parking lot. Not a shiny show-off scoot, but a hardy daily-runner, just the kind of bike I hope Quell grows up to be. The owner of this bike, Rob, put some miles in himself getting to Seattle. He rode this P from Eureka, in two days. He was obviously proud of the solidity of his little steed, and we talked for sometime about these workhorses of the manual scooter world. I learned a lot in my chat with Rob. When I was discussing my earlier problems with the fuel pipe in my carb, he insisted on opening up his carb, so I could show him exactly what I was talking about. (I noticed he had a hoseclamp holding that connection.) While the outside of this scoot might look a little "ridden hard and put-up wet," everything under that engine side cowl was pristine. The engine looked mint!
Rob also recommended that I try Blue Marble oil. He said he's used this two-stroke oil for years, and it's the cleanest thing he's come across. It burns clean, with little to no smoke, and leaves no deposits or residue in the engine. Not only does it significantly reduce his emissions, but it is also supposedly bio-degradable. Rob really couldn't say enough good about this product. He convinced me to at least look into the oil, which is generally marketed to snow-mobilers. I did some digging on the internet, and did find some independent tests with some promising results. I'll be ordering some here soon... and will of course share my personal experiences.


Speaking of down-and-dirty P-series rats, this bike the "Thunderturd," just really tickled me. Heh, heh, "Thunderturd," brilliant.

I love how the legshield is reminiscent of an old jousting shield, with an area cut out for couching a lance. Plus I'm a sucker for those light protecting grills... I'd really like to find some for Quell.

edit: 07/23/07
Reader Vespabelle writes:
The Thunderturd is owned by my husband Dave McCabe. It's a "fanciful recreation of a Acma Troupes Aéro Portées (TAP) Vespa which was used by the French military in Algeria and Vietnam. There's a nice write up of this bike in Collin Shattuck's book Scooters: Red Eyes, Whitewalls & Blue Smoke.

D'oh!
She is of course refering to this:

an image that shows up all over the scooter web from time to time. Heck, I posted it some time ago...
Still, I think I like Thunderturd better than it's inspiration...